Just Decide

If you want to feel defeated. Overwhelmed. Exasperated. Just decide to graduate high school early in an attempt to get out of the state you don't want to live in. Just decide to attend a private christian university for about as long as your brain can possibly handle without your heart committing mutiny (one and half years). Just decide to move North on a whim for cheap schooling and change your degree (one year). Just decide to change your degree emphasis and spend half a year making right angles. Just decide to take a semester off of school because all you've been bloody doing is school for your whole entire life, just decide to have the right amount of income to not receive the financial aid that you direly need. Just decide to work very hard in high school so that you become second in your class and receive no scholarships. Just decide to find another university after you've already been through two in order to complete a degree that you're not even sure you want. Just decide that what you really want is to go to another country, Scotland, overseas but be completely unaware and unable to decipher how to go about that plan. Decide to sit on the couch one day and browse for hours looking for schools, knowing it's just one more session of entrance and exit counseling for more loans. Just decide that a degree in Scotland would basically mean starting over and therefore a waste of around 30,000 dollars in loans. Just decide.