Currently waiting in the queue for a shower (who isn't?), sitting in a very familiar yet extremely disconcerting room (crashing in my immaculately organized younger sister's room) accompanied by an unsettling sock monkey, and tackling whatever dignity I have left.
On that note.
I have a bone to pick with whoever thought of the design for sock monkeys.
They're completely off.
Maybe it's the fact that wherever you sit in the room, whether the monkey is facing you or out, it seems as if it's aware of your presence. Not paranoid here, folks. Well, hardly.
Or the fact that their smiles take up approximately two thirds of their faces, and at that, they're just really big red lips. The color of that ridiculous shade of red they always use to represent blood in movies like 300 where the audience is going "well that's not right, is it" but we all just accept it anyways and continue to enjoy watching nearly naked men rip each other apart. It's a good thing we're all such historical buffs in this country, or else that film wouldn't have made it with the general audience.
And don't even get me started on the limbs. Or the tail. Completely disproportionate. Or the fact that its butt has the same pattern as its face. I could elaborate, but we'll leave it at that.
Am I the only one observant here, or just the only one to rant about it?
In any case, I wish you all the best, as tonight, a well-guarded sect of the order of the sock monkeys will find me in this immaculate room and do something rather terrible to me while you are all sleeping and dreaming madly. Be comforted by that thought as you snuggle up with your Elmo doll. And remember--don't be alarmed when Tickle Me Elmo suddenly decides to launch an assault on your assets. And topples the government. You won't think his giggles are adorable then.
Constructing fortifications around my bed,
M
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